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It is an uncommon loss, and no door of solace is opened. Some things fall from us over the years. We lose them without even realizing it. But over time, the pain remains inside. As we grow older, we miss the laughter, innocence, and spontaneity of our first lives before we put on the mask of light. We smile against our will. We choose kindness over honesty and ultimately lose our identity.
And when words remain locked up in our minds…never disappear…buried in the graveyard of our minds…then they reappear in the dark corners of our lives, materialized as a painful nostalgia that knocks on our door every time the night closes its curtains. The ghosts of these words visit us…to reprove us for hiding them and not revealing them.
At that moment, our fears are removed from the scene and hide behind familiar rationalizations.
Fear of being misunderstood or having your pride hurt.
We chose ourselves…and we didn’t realize that we chose silence with her that could change the narrative…or at least lighten the burden of pain. By refusing to disclose information, we have robbed ourselves of a moment when we could have said everything.
There is wisdom in everything that happens. Some words that were never actually said bleed onto the paper. Writing becomes a graveyard! Yes…but it is a graveyard where words bloom…and touch those who have had the same experience.
Is what we really feel real? Or what should I do? Or what do we say?
flash:
When the night closes the curtains…
Silence reigns supreme…
Everything seems calm except for the beating of the heart. At that moment, the words that were stuck between silence and revelation creep up on us! We did not dare to reveal it to condemn it!
She didn’t disappear, she hid!
In the dark corners of our lives…
They come not as sounds, but as painful groans knocking on the door of our hearts.
There pride continues to be condemned without legitimacy…ashamed to be exposed before the truth…lost in prestige, without a savior…we are not the ones who speak with confidence, nor the ones who use violence, we are the pain…we bleed when darkness falls! When our spirit is broken, we are that truth.
Nothing exposes us more than our emotions.
We are what we feel, not what we say or do.
*Saudi Arabian writer
